Goodness the past week as flown! With the slow thaw finally happening after all the disruptions of the snow, the normal rhythm of life is steadily returning. G is back from his travels, jet-lagged and just a little grumpy.... and the weather induced pressure at work is also easing.
A little late, and with not one Christmas card written, or present wrapped, we start preparing for Christmas with oomph tomorrow.
I usually find Christmas a huge stress, and normally end up in floods of 'I am a failure' tears by Christmas Eve. I become overwhelmed with the pressure to create the perfect lead up too, and the perfect Christmas day.
Last year we had a very simple Christmas, it was a painful time, just a few weeks after the loss of G's mum, and we missed her presence dearly. It did make me look at what was important for us as a family at this time of year.
There have been three things this week that resonated with me, and I hope you don't mind me sharing them with you...
'Next year I hope mummy will have the house straight, so she can do special Christmas things with me'
A conversation between my 7 year old and my mum, during their day out at Chatsworth House, where they are celebrating Christmas with a Russian theme.
Me? I was at home tidying.
I want my children to have strong, warm, happy memories when they are older. They won't remeber a tidy house.
It's the simple unexpected things that give rise to unexpected intrigue, questions and excitement.
The £2.50 mini box of satsumas from the grocers....
Why are they in a box? Who gets to keep the box? How many can we eat? Why don't they come like that in the supermarket?
I get to spend time with the most extraordinary people living ordinary lives. During one visit this week I had one of the most bitter sweet moments of my life.
In a room filled with the most beautiful music, I learnt from a remarkable person, the periods of music filled silence, said as much as the spoken word.
I will carry that moment will be with me, and when I feel tense or anxious about getting it all right & perfect, I will hold that moment.
It's not about the trimmings, homemade vs readymade, the pressure. Its about life, love, family and the future.
So this weekend, in between the 'fettleing' and tree decorating, you will find me with my smalls on the floor, making paper chains, following the 7 year olds special time with mummy request.
Are they not the most delicious paper chains? I admit to being a smidge excited about getting my hands on them, but not as much as my daughter....