Marbles

I seem to have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks, losing (and gathering again) my marbles....

In fact, I dearly wanted to call this post 'Pants, Pondering & Procrastination..' I have been feeling unsettled, over faced & out of control (& not in an exciting wild way, either).

I think leaving the old job may have had a significant contribution to this. Leaving a familiar environment where I know what I am doing to start anew.

Saying goodbye to my patients and colleagues....

Perhaps its been the slow pace of the kitchen getting finished, oh why oh why do things take sooo long?

Pondering on whether to bother with the housework when nobody else does it, merging into a feeling of panic as it all gets too much and I don't know quite where to start.

Realising that I did not manage to loose 1/2 stone prior to starting the new job, but I did manage to put on 1/2 a stone on though....

The children scratting like a pair of tom cats, from what feels like dawn to dusk.

G working away all week, then coming home asking about something I haven't managed to do, and not, I feel recognising what I have achieved.

Its all just felt a bit pants....

But...

I have started the new job, everyone is lovely. I really think I've done the right thing for myself & the family. I have oodles to learn, and I know it will be hard at times, but I am thrilled too be doing it.

I know I will get the kitchen finished eventually, even if nagging to get it finished will cause a 'lively discussion'

So long as the children are happy, well fed & turned out, stuff the tidiness of the house. I only have one pair of hands, and sometimes when not at work, these hands want to sit & hold my children.

I don't think a pair of 5 & 8 year old's have ever actually killed each other, and apparently its all normal....

I've joined Slimming World.

I can only do my best, and admit sometimes its ok not to try & do my best. I am not superwoman - & never will be.



Love Lydia xx