Tuesday, 19 May 2009


I seem to have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks, losing (and gathering again) my marbles....

In fact, I dearly wanted to call this post 'Pants, Pondering & Procrastination..' I have been feeling unsettled, over faced & out of control (& not in an exciting wild way, either).

I think leaving the old job may have had a significant contribution to this. Leaving a familiar environment where I know what I am doing to start anew.

Saying goodbye to my patients and colleagues....

Perhaps its been the slow pace of the kitchen getting finished, oh why oh why do things take sooo long?

Pondering on whether to bother with the housework when nobody else does it, merging into a feeling of panic as it all gets too much and I don't know quite where to start.

Realising that I did not manage to loose 1/2 stone prior to starting the new job, but I did manage to put on 1/2 a stone on though....

The children scratting like a pair of tom cats, from what feels like dawn to dusk.

G working away all week, then coming home asking about something I haven't managed to do, and not, I feel recognising what I have achieved.

Its all just felt a bit pants....


I have started the new job, everyone is lovely. I really think I've done the right thing for myself & the family. I have oodles to learn, and I know it will be hard at times, but I am thrilled too be doing it.

I know I will get the kitchen finished eventually, even if nagging to get it finished will cause a 'lively discussion'

So long as the children are happy, well fed & turned out, stuff the tidiness of the house. I only have one pair of hands, and sometimes when not at work, these hands want to sit & hold my children.

I don't think a pair of 5 & 8 year old's have ever actually killed each other, and apparently its all normal....

I've joined Slimming World.

I can only do my best, and admit sometimes its ok not to try & do my best. I am not superwoman - & never will be.

Love Lydia xx


  1. oh bless you i think i could have written most of this post as well! my hubby been away loads and then asks "did you put the bin out" (No i didnt) and away again this week :-( plus the sibling stuff! mine are 4 and 7 and yes its normal but its annoying as well isnt it?!
    at least you "nearly" have a lovely new kitchen so good to focus on that and the new job and the rest will follow along eventually - please say it will;-)

  2. Oh Lydia - I send a big hug to you! Am with you...excpet we haven't even started our kitchen so you're one step ahead of us there! Husband always notices everything I haven't done and nothing I have. Now please tell me why that is because I find it a tad annoying! Don't you worry. Holding your children is the most important thing you can do. Screw everything else!! xxx

  3. Hi Lydia,
    My kitchen is Ok (ish), The rubbish needs sortung out in the spare room,( The one that will be my craft room).My dining and bedroom need sorting out, and painting, and the garden is growing weeds too fast!!!Plus loads of other things!!
    We all need time to be neat, tidy, and organised.I can't see it happening!!!!
    Like you, as long,as we, and our families, and friends are happy and healthy, it's really not that important at all!

    Have fun, and lots of hugs!!!!

    Sharon xx

  4. I feel that same sense of overwhelming 'how can I get everything done' at times. And I am a full time stay at home mum of only one. So I think you do extrememly very well, as Lola might say. :o) xx

  5. What a heartfelt and moving post Lydia :)

    I understand completely, I shan't waffle on about the refurbishment of my home that is taking forever, bet everyone in blogland is fed up of me moaning on about it, but as long as I am at peace with myself, I shall be alright :)



  6. Thank you so much for the warm welcome back...lovely!xxx

  7. Ooooh! Lydia, poor you!
    Stop trying to do so much....
    Take a breath, sounds like you've sussed it out yourself.
    Take care and you're absolutely right, I've not heard of (normal) siblings murdering each other, housework can wait.Take sometime out for yourself when you can. Thank goodness your new job is good, I'm so pleased for you.

  8. Hi Lydia

    There are days when I would say you could have her lol!
    I hope you're well and have found your marbles. Look forward to seeing you back here on a more regular basis.
    Big ((hugs))
    Beki xxx