Three Thoughts

Goodness the past week as flown! With the slow thaw finally happening after all the disruptions of the snow, the normal rhythm of life is steadily returning. G is back from his travels, jet-lagged and just a little grumpy.... and the weather induced pressure at work is also easing.

A little late, and with not one Christmas card written, or present wrapped, we start preparing for Christmas with oomph tomorrow.

I usually find Christmas a huge stress, and normally end up in floods of 'I am a failure' tears by Christmas  Eve. I become overwhelmed with the pressure to create the perfect lead up too, and the perfect Christmas day.

Last year we had a very simple Christmas, it was a painful time, just a few weeks after the loss of G's mum, and we missed her presence dearly. It did make me look at what was important for us as a family at this time of year.

There have been three things this week that resonated with me, and I hope you don't mind me sharing them with you...

One....
'Next year I hope mummy will have the house straight, so she can do special Christmas things with me'

A conversation between my 7 year old and my mum, during their day out at Chatsworth House, where they are celebrating Christmas with a Russian theme.

Ouch!

Me? I was at home tidying.

I want my children to have strong, warm, happy memories when they are older. They won't remeber a tidy house.

Two
It's the simple unexpected things that give rise to unexpected intrigue, questions and excitement.

The £2.50 mini box of satsumas from the grocers....

Why are they in a box? Who gets to keep the box? How many can we eat? Why don't they come like that in the supermarket?


Three
I  get to spend time with the most extraordinary people living ordinary lives. During one visit this week I had one of the most bitter sweet moments of my life.

In a room filled with the most beautiful music, I learnt from a remarkable person, the periods of music filled silence, said as much as the spoken word.

I will carry that moment will be with me, and when I feel tense or anxious about getting it all right & perfect, I will hold that moment.

It's not about the trimmings, homemade vs readymade, the pressure. Its about life, love, family and the future.

So this weekend, in between the 'fettleing' and tree decorating, you will find me with my smalls on the floor, making paper chains, following the 7 year olds special time with mummy request.

Are they not the most delicious paper chains? I admit to being a smidge excited about getting my hands on them, but not as much as my daughter....

Lx

Thursday Thoughts......

Mmmm which one will I eat first with my cup of tea?

Or should I say 3rd? As there were 8 Frostie Fancies in the box....

I really think I'm going to need some cakey energy to tackle this little lot....

Hope you are all having a lovely Thursday

Lx

39

This weekend I celebrated my erm, uhh, ohhh, 39th Birthday. Just one year left till I have to move up to the next age group in anti-wrinkle creams - 20's, 30's, just can't say it yet's.....

The day started well - small people brought me breakfast in bed - tea, toast & cuddles, always good......

Despite the heavy snow, I ventured out to have morning coffee with a friend and a mooch round my favourite shops on Chatsworth road, Libby's, Created, Harley's and Moo Moo's. After 3 days in the house I had a good dose of cabin fever, so the time out was fab.... Even if it was a nervous tramp through the snow. My poor friend was witness to my 2 left feet and lack of traction control....

I treated myself to this lovely felted flower at Created, which I think cheers up my winter coat, along with my favourite striped scarf. I love this gallery, it's full of unique, locally sourced creations, very reasonably priced.

On Saturday evening we braved it as a family over to Buxton to see a production of Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol at the Pavilion theatre. It's the first time we have been to the Pavilion, usually we go to the Opera House, which is just stunning, and holds lot of special memories for me.

Whilst the Pavilion theatre lacked the atmosphere of the Opera House, the production was excellent, it held my 10 year olds attention, and it was a lovely family outing, made all the more special by mum and dad joining us.

I am looking forward to the next 12 months, my 30's have felt like a long hard slog at times, pregnancy (think whale) the early years of babies, toddlers, which you wish you could get back, minus the overwhelming knackeredness, and a good dollop of worrying..... so here's to my final year of being in my 30's, I have a feeling its going to be a good year!

On a final note we are still struggling with snow & ice here in my little patch of North Derbyshire. This morning it was -16 outside, and the side roads are just sheet ice, very scary as I have lost control of my car twice in the past 24hours. My 10 year olds school has been shut again today, due to the heating breaking down, and to be honest, its getting quite boring/tiring now, and it doesn't even look pretty anymore (although a small pink person still looks pretty it).

It's even stopping me from wearing my birthday presents from G (brought back from America at a hugely discounted price compared to the UK)....

Not that G has too worry about ice, work & small people - he's nice and warm in Taichung for the next 12 days - Ba Humbug.

Lx

No longer wondering if I am Waving or Drowning....

Helllloooo, its me, back after a rather long bloggy break.

It's been a fair few months, but I have needed time away, to look at myself, life and all around me. I've needed time to start to almost 'mend myself', I didn't realise just how tired I had become until I went away in the summer, and slept at almost every opportunity. It's still a journey I am on, and I've been blessed to have had some incredible support.

It was a comment by the very lovely Floss on my blog title that made me think, (realising that there was a not too happy poem about wether a man was waving or drowning), that this saying was not what I want to be defined by.

So here I am - Twelve, tales of life and love behind the grey door. This is my home.

A home of my own is all I have ever wanted, since making the decision to buy my first house at the age of 24 as a single newly qualified nurse. Whilst others were out painting the town red, I was earning extra money in nursing homes, to create my own home.

Now home for me has 2 smalls, a pile of ironing often found to be kissing the ceiling, 2 cats, 4 fish, cobwebs, and a husband (at times...when he isn't off abroad).

I still nurse, I care passionately about my job. It's the best job, and at times the worst job, sometimes it weighs heavy on me, and it takes days to remove things from my mind. I am now learning coping mechanisms to keep the balance in check.

So thankyou, all of you who have stuck by me, and continued to follow during my absence, and hello to new friends, I will be stopping by to say hi soon....

In the meantime, I'll leave you with some pictures of my little patch of North Derbyshire over the last few days.....

Despite the meanest set of winter tyres on my chunky monkey car, I have been well and truly snowed in!

Lx

PS - If anybody is kind enough to have me on a side bar link, please could you chuck my old blog title away, and replace it with my new one? Thankyou kindly!