I have had to Pause in Lent for weeks 2,3,4 (& even 5 is now late)

Hello. Very bad blogger here. 4 weeks without posting. A bit one sided. Taking pleasure from others blogs. Not offering back. 

Unfortunately I had picked up a bug - not flu, but whatever it was has taken a while to shake off, and I have felt lousy for the past 3 weeks. The warning signs were there. I was feeling really tired, a bit antsy, and  running on autopilot - that sense that you are exisiting, but not having time to feel. Work had gradually started to run away from the 30 hour week to full time + hours. I was leaving before the little people were going to school, and arriving home after they had gone to bed. My five-a-day was coming from the large packets of Jelly babies (well they do contain real fruit juices) being consumed as I dashed from one place to another.

Unable to sleep due to an over busy mind, I even got up at 4.30am one morning to work my way through the ironing pile - It was that or go to work nudey rudey....

So come the week of my annual leave - when I had planned to tackle the house work, get some organisation done, and be a better mum, my body went

- ENOUGH -

It has been a case of physician heal thyself.

So for the past 2+ weeks I have slept lots, pottered, rather than trying to work my way through unacheivable lists. I admitted defeat when the bug went on my chest & I was coughing like I was on 40 park drive a day, and went to the GP for antibiotics. I acknowledged I wasn't well enough to work, and took time off.

And I have thought, reflected and pondered.

In amongst all this, there has been some truley delightfull highlights. Above is the card from Angel - my swap partner in Michela's Venus swap - guess what my theme was?

I never really understood peoples facination for Yankee Candles until Beki sent me a Sweet Violet Tart as a congratulation gift last year - (then I did get it!) So I was delighted to recieve this candle - luxury!

& some Rose scented bath products to pamper myself with (well needed), and finally, my very favourite Rose Creams - Scrumptious indeed.

Thankyou so much Angel!

There has also been some Birthday Baking occurring. Firstly for one of our team at work - Lemon and Lime Cup Cakes. They looked so happy and spring like, and tasted delicious if I may say so myself, with mouth wateringly tart buttercream icicng.

My sister also has a birthday party, so I baked again, making the same Lemon & Lime Cup Cakes, however I used fuschia pink foil cases, to tie the theme in with her chocolate rocky crispy cakes that were finished off with a sprinkle of fairy dust to match....

I cannot explain how much I enjoy baking at the moment. It is such a simple pleasure.

Another lovely suprise to arrive in the post was this 'Thankyou' parcel from Lisa, who won my 1st Birthday giveaway. Juicy Lucy card!

Who me? Surely not!

It was a huuuge chore to eat this....

And new flip flops! In a large size! Lisa thankyou, you must have done your reading to know I have big feet & love my flipflops...

And finally this floral cuff bangle - so ready for summer now...

One of the good things about enforced slowing down, is that it has really given me time to hear my children. We have talked & listened to each other. With G being away for nearly two weeks in Taipai, I have had the 9 year old attention, which has been lovely, spending more time with him.

Several weeks ago I was thinking through my Pause in Lent 2 post. I had wanted to know what Lent & Easter meant to the children. The 9 year old, suggested that he give up school for lent, however I suggested this wouldn't be workable. He did say that it was sad that Jesus died, and that it wasn't all about chocolate, but more interestingly, he said he liked Easter, because I did things with him, like the Easter tree & Egg hunt. I was expecting great views from the 6 year old, as she is a proper mini praiser, however she threw a strop, so I never found out what Easter meant to her...

I have also learnt a lot from reading others posts. Floss, you have an amazing sense of grace in your writting, and Madhouse wrote about giving up shouting - why did I not think of that? So inspired, I have had a really good try at it myself - & goodness it takes some patience to keep repeating calmly when under pressure. I think it may be starting to work though.

Today I returned to work. I will try & get the balance back. I will look after myself better, so as I can look after others. I will enjoy being in the moment. Taking pleasure in the simple things.

Bathfoamed snowball baby.

& I will leave the Jelly Babies alone.

Love Lydia xx

A Pause in Lent - One

Oooh I thought, in a reflective moment, whilst perusing the blog that Floss writes, that sounds interesting. I'd read about 'A Pause in Advent' and some of the comments about how much people found it helpful, to take time out & step back, think & reflect.

I am a very reflective person - almost too much I wonder sometimes - I like to mull things over, chuck in few what if's etc.... We use it a lot at work - Reflective Practice, as away of learning, improving our knowledge, learning through the experience. 

So my first thought, having committed myself to this for the next 6 weeks, was what did Lent mean to me? & thinking about it, I don't think I've ever observed Lent.

I was brought up in an active Christian household - hence my biblical name. I think my parents in my early years , would say they were non-denominational, free church people. I cannot remember a lot of 'traditional worship' as a small child, I think there were a lot of house groups, but there was also a strong sense of sharing - and this has sharing has continued to this day with my mum & dad. They offer a very open house, welcoming fellow christians to stay if they need a room for the night when on their travels. I have often said that I could turn up to M&D house, to find a burglar in the house, and I would assume it was one of their friends who'd come to stay. 

As mum and dad moved further north, the family settled into a more formal worship, at Baptist, C of E and more evangelical churches.  

By the time we moved to Derbyshire, I was in my fully fledged teenage angst years - where what I'd been brought up to believe was questioned, argued - and almost at points, raged against. Peers told me it was 'square' to be in the Christian Society (can any one else remember being 'square'?). I didn't want to stand out - I wanted to blend in with my counterparts, a brief spell of being bullied, had reinforced the need to fit in. Sociology taught me that it was a form of control of the masses, for example Methodism (perhaps the church that I felt most at ease in) with its quiet practice and abstinence, was encouraged by the Mill owners as a way of ensuring well behaved workers.  I felt cross at what I saw of people, not practising what they preached, even though my mum, would say that we are only human, not perfect. And most of all I questioned - is there only one right faith? How can good, caring people, suffer eternal damnation, because they were Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish or Christian?

I do not currently attend a church, yet I still feel a sense of faith. I have seen too much, felt too much over the years to believe that death is final. I've witnessed things that cannot be accounted for by medicine or science. I've watched a strong faith be of comfort to those facing death, and those facing the loss of someone. I've watched as people have drawn strength form their faith, and a times felt that things have had a 'helping hand'. I have drawn strength and comfort, given thanks to my God, whom I believe is a kind and caring God, who will hold people in his comfort. I have given thanks for his love (and the odd needed car parking space).

I think I am still on a personal journey - of finding what feels right for me. When I talk to others of what I believe in, I always say, that what gives me faith, strength and comfort is this prayer. It never fails to move me, and it is what I carry in my heart day to day, its how I try to live and practice my beliefs.

The prayer attributed to the 13th century Saint Francis of Assisi, originated in its current form in Franc in 1912. It became known as the prayer for peace, and was widely used as a comfort for the soldiers in WW1. Since then it has been quoted from persons such as Archbishop Tutu, to Margaret Thatcher. Its been widely broadcast in films such as Rambo, to the late Princess Diana's funeral. Mother Teresa used it as part of her morning devotions.

It was also the hymn sung on my first visit to the Hospice Chapel, on my first week in my new job.

Coincidence? or is someone giving me a nudge?

Love Lydia xx