Facing The Fear

So this weekend I drove to Northumberland on my own with the small people.

:: I drove. On my own. To Northumberland::

This is mahoosive. This was Girl Power. This was me Facing the Fear.

Anybody who knows me would tell you I am happy to pootle around country lanes, villages & our small town. I can drive on the M1 - 2 junctions, 3 roundabouts to IKEA - 3 junctions & 2 roundabouts to my bestest friends house. Ask me to drive to Sheffield, Derby or any where else & I go into meltdown. Total meltdown, even with the aid of a sat nav, I am a bag of nerves. 

:: The sort of nerves that see me drive down a tramline route. The wrong way. In Sheffield ::

So I must have been overtired, deluded or hormonal when I decided to drive to a family christening 

:: On my own. To Northumberland::

Saturday

The 11 year old reassures me that he will help me follow the route. Quite how Pokemon Battles helped, other than to keep him quiet I do not know - although there is something utterly heartwarming watching

him hug his beloved Eye-ore all the way there & back. (On reflection, it have been silent, fear induced Eye-ore holding ) He's on the threshold of teenage hormones & angst, but still young in so many ways.

In the back the 8 year old was also suitably entertained.

Just over 3 hours later we arrived. One stop at Wetherby. In one piece. No arguments or shouty mummy moments. One call to G to say I couldn't find the Holiday Inn (someone put trees in front on purpose to make it hard for me)

I then managed to get to my brothers house (4 roundabouts, 2 right, 2 left turns) for a pre-christening bonding session. Before returning to the hotel (actually I went back to his house by accident first, someone moved the roads round when I wasn't looking).

Smalls occupied. Me occupied. All in control.

Sunday.

After an interesting nights sleep (the 8 year old talks in her sleep, & pinches - rather too well as I found out). We awoke & got ready for breakfast. 40 minutes later, one Ribeana spill down the only clean blouse a certain 8 year old had, face soap, trouser press, hairdryer & borrowed iron we finally made it. 

My brother is lucky enough to live a very short drive away from the sea. 10 whole minutes away. You may feel my jealousy as I type this (in a sisterly way). 

Oh I have beach envy. Serious beach envy. The call of the sea is something I cannot resist.Especially when he is already there with his eldest little one.

Now she just rocks - as only a 2 year old can. Utterly beautiful. Enchanting with her chatter. Totally adored by the 11 year old. I even said to my brother that I couldn't believe he could make such a beautiful child (in a sisterly way)

And this hour, with the children, on the beach, in the fresh air, paddling in the water, gathering, digging, playing. 

It made Facing the Fear worthwhile. 

Precious moments, made all the greater, knowing that 

:: I drove. On my own. To Northumberland::

If I did it once, I can do it again. That my little ones may be able to grow up seeing more of their cousins than I thought they would. If I can manage this drive, and two children, an overnight stay on my own, where else could I go? that thought is empowering.

My beautiful girl gathered me jet black pebbles from the beach. They will go in a jar. To remind me

:: I drove. On my own. To Northumberland::

I swear, I'm almost. Fearless. Well a little bit less than I was.... 

Lx

(& the Christening was just Perfect)